What are ways to connect to the internet living out in BFE.?

here's what you have to do. make a helmet out of aluminum foil, complete with three antenna's sticking out of the top. go on your roof and dance around in a circle three times. after that, stop. now pick up your left leg and hold it there. dont move, the signal should be coming in shortly. when you feel the first and third antenna start to vibrate, get on your knees and look up. the remainder of the signal will be shot into your mouth and straight to you computer. congratulations, you are now online!